It wasn't until my 39th birthday that I experienced mind blowing sex, sex that transcended the physical (and even the emotional), allowing a glipse into the sacred realms.
This wouldn't have been possible for me without doing massive amounts of heavy lifting on my own healing journey - I cleared away SO MUCH STUFF a few years back when everything in my life fell apart (now, my greatest blessing). Shame around my body + my sexuality, difficulty being truly seen, years of tolerating disrespect and internalizing that, fear of intimacy, all the things. It's an ongoing process, of course.
Also, as I talk about often, opening to my spirituality and embracing the sacred feminine was also a HUGE part of this shift.
It also wouldn't have been possible without a partner who made me feel safe, honored, respected, + beautiful. (You know who you are and I love you for that.)
It's completely changed everything for me.
Sex should not be sub par, and if you're settling for anything less than what I describe above (be honest with yourself), there's SO MUCH value in doing healing work around this.
This year, I'm going to be offering much more specific help to women around healing their relationship to their sexuality, which will involve developing deep respect for their bodies, setting clear intentions on what they want (and deserve) in intimate partnership, opening to sacred union, and much more.
There were many years of my life where I downgraded sex and told myself it wasn't really that important. For me, I now see how much I was settling, how trapped I felt, and how wrong I was to believe that good sex wasn't important. Although everything has to be in balance and I don't feel that sex is everything, it IS an extraordinary vehicle to developing intimacy with yourself, your partner, and the divine.
For now - for my ladies - DO NOT SHARE your body with anyone less that 100% deserving of you. DO NOT SETTLE for anything less than mind blowing sex. DO THE WORK you need to do to release shame, low self-confidence, not being in your body, etc. You deserve to have an epic sex life. Pleasure is our birthright.
For the men - I see you, I respect you, and I know that you have so much of your own stuff around sexuality that needs to be healed. Seek out support, because you, too, deserve to have amazing sex. The number of men's coaches doing work in this realm is rising. Email me at hello at femininerising.us if you want some recs.