Forgive me for my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me...
Forgiveness towards an important person in my life has been one of the hardest journeys I’ve ever taken. I think that those who have also lived through childhood sexual abuse understand.
However - on my best days, I see this opportunity to forgive as a high blessing. I’ve done awful things in my life too, I realized. We all have.
Is stewing in a place of chronic shame and guilt helpful?
I enjoy holding people accountable. I also hold myself highly accountable. I’ve held this person accountable, and continued to bind and suffocate him in the shackles of shame and guilt.
That won’t help him to evolve as a human. Shame should never be used as a teacher.
The other day it finally happened. I (finally) fully forgave him and everything melted away.
For me, forgiveness has not been linear. But this time, it felt complete.
Through forgiveness, I free up space for both he + I to move towards our highest selves. That’s not possible when using the weapons of guilt + shame.
Shame as a teacher will not create a better world. We’re causing harm whether we know it or not.
I believe we can hold each other accountable - with love. ❤️❤️❤️
What do you think?
📸 via @somos.otempo
Leigh-Anne is a psychologist based in Los Angeles specializing in next-level love, sex, and relationships. She is the founder of Feminine Rising, a global community for women. You can find her on Instagram @feminine__rising