We are currently trying to out-yell each other in our society.
Does power and respect always have to come from a place of being loud and domineering? Can softness + quietness be honored? Can we collectively question who gets the most attention, for our highest good?
Right now showing up to be seen and heard is a huge + necessary theme. And as someone who has healed pretty debilitating social anxiety, I can tell you that in the beginning stages of unraveling that, I thought I had to be really loud and big.
While that was certainly part of my journey, today I am listening deeply to my body and what feels good for me. And often times when I feel most connected to my most authentic self, I am a quiet + soft spoken person.
I was told countless times from childhood to speak up. But what if it's not necessary for us to be the loudest person in the room? What if you, as the listener, actually needs to slow down and quiet yourself in order to hear ME?
It's that quality of deep listening that we are truly lacking in our culture today.
From a young age I connected to the more Eastern philosophy that the quieter personality type was actually more wise. I am still to this day triggered by others who are loud and take up a lot of space. It's actually not that I think you don't have the RIGHT to be heard and to take up space. It's the WAY it is sometimes done that bothers me - when it feels like the person is one upping everyone around them AND are too self-centered to notice others that deserve to be seen + heard too, even if they aren't the loudest people in the room. How can we make space for everyone's unique expressions?
Rather than saying one way of being is wrong and the other is right, I am interested in embodying my full expression. There are days where it feels good to be loud and wild. Truly, I've had to expand my own definition of who I am, identity-wise. Women are cyclical and NOT linear, and this is a gift that I've embraced. But today I noticed powerfully that I hadn't fully loved my soft and quiet side until just now :)
What does this bring up for you?
Leigh-Anne Lui is a Los Angeles based psychologist specializing in next-level love, sex + relationships. In 2017, she founded Feminine Rising, a women's community dedicated to reclaiming the feminine. She has a deep desire to help women manifest extraordinary love. Find her on IG @feminine__rising.