Today is Autumn Equinox, a time of sacred balance between the light + dark, sky + earth, masculine + feminine. This happens every year on the day the sun enters Libra, the sign of the scales.
Balance is a deep + meaningful theme that I have been immersed in from a spiritual perspective over the past six years - in particular, the balance between the yin + yang, or feminine + masculine aspects of ourselves (and in partnership).
Autumn Equinox is traditionally a time where we do two things: celebrate everything that we have manifested in our lives (i.e. what are we grateful for?) AND simultaneously turn towards those things that may not be working, so that we can prepare to enter the dark half of the year in deep reflection and contemplation (i.e. facing our shadows).
Can you do both? Can you hold each of these opposing energies in your body - the celebration and pure gratitude of everything + everyone around you, while also being able to clearly see that which has not served you?
This takes courage, because often it includes an aspect of ownership to accept the things that we have participated in creating that just aren't working anymore.
And releasing those things with love.
This is a great time to do shadow work, begin therapy, spend some deep time in meditation, journaling, spiritual practice, connecting to your intuition, going on retreats, scheduling lots of rest/down time, self-care, reading, etc.
If we don’t honor this time of reflection that nature has literally embedded in the seasons (and in our bodies), we are out of alignment with what the universe is calling us to embrace - this sacred cycle of building + releasing, creation + destruction, death + rebirth. We must welcome it all.
Always focusing our energy outwards on what we want to manifest without ever checking in with ourselves on how it’s going - on whether what we are manifesting is actually serving us in the highest way - is problematic.
And yet it symbolizes this imbalance in our culture where we are SO focused on productivity and the hustle, without slowing down, going inwards, and reflection on our lives.
It's symbolic of the imbalance between the masculine + the feminine.
This doesn't only lead to physical burnout, but it also keeps the same patterns playing out over and over that are embedded in our shadows, because we are not focusing on (or we are trying to suppress) the dark parts of ourselves that we’d prefer not to look at.
Some of us are really good at facing our shadows. We are very motivated to tackle them and make them better. Others are not very good at this, we have avoidance tendencies and fear around facing our shadows. It's all good, but awareness is key.
Be gentle with yourself and go at your own pace, as long as you are honoring this time of the year in SOME way - just understanding the energetics of this time of the year can make an impact.
Your body knows the way, it wants to pull inwards and slow down as the days get shorter and the light wanes.
Follow that deep inner knowing.
One very simple way that you can do this in ritual is to make some time for yourself tonight (even 20 minutes would suffice) to get quiet, go inwards, and journal about the following:
What is working, and what's not working in the following areas of my life?
Light a candle, do some breathwork, dance, make it holy. Whatever feels good to you.
Really feel into the gratitude and celebration of what's working in each area, and use the reflections on what isn't working to create some intentions on how you'd like your life to shift there.
Ritual does not have to be complicated. Once you are connected to the deeper purpose of why this is sacred, you make it your own.
I'd love to hear anything that comes up for you after this process - feel free to reply to this email and let me know.
Sending Equinox Blessings,
The Key to High Level Romantic Relationships
Resentment is the #1 poison that impacts romantic relationships, and here is one of the keys to avoiding it.
You MUST make the time and space to regularly bring up anything in the relationship that is not feeling good to you.
1) Courage on the part of both people.
2) A safe space in the relationship to bring things up.
3) Clarity on how you would like to be treated (your boundaries AND your deepest desires).
4) A belief that this relationship is so important that it is an absolute disservice NOT to bring it up.
5) A belief that romantic relationship provides the opportunity for you + the other person to rise into your highest selves, and that you can rise to the occasion of becoming the best human you can be through this relationship.
Conscious, open, healthy communication in relationships is SO key. Do not take this as an opportunity to dump things on the other person, shame them, or point fingers. Express yourself from the place of loving the relationship SO much that you need to clear the air in order to evolve the partnership into the highest version possible.
How does it feel inside your body when you think about bringing something up in your relationship that doesn't feel good to you?
We are currently trying to out-yell each other in our society.
Does power and respect always have to come from a place of being loud and domineering? Can softness + quietness be honored? Can we collectively question who gets the most attention, for our highest good?
Right now showing up to be seen and heard is a huge + necessary theme. And as someone who has healed pretty debilitating social anxiety, I can tell you that in the beginning stages of unraveling that, I thought I had to be really loud and big.
While that was certainly part of my journey, today I am listening deeply to my body and what feels good for me. And often times when I feel most connected to my most authentic self, I am a quiet + soft spoken person.
I was told countless times from childhood to speak up. But what if it's not necessary for us to be the loudest person in the room? What if you, as the listener, actually needs to slow down and quiet yourself in order to hear ME?
It's that quality of deep listening that we are truly lacking in our culture today.
From a young age I connected to the more Eastern philosophy that the quieter personality type was actually more wise. I am still to this day triggered by others who are loud and take up a lot of space. It's actually not that I think you don't have the RIGHT to be heard and to take up space. It's the WAY it is sometimes done that bothers me - when it feels like the person is one upping everyone around them AND are too self-centered to notice others that deserve to be seen + heard too, even if they aren't the loudest people in the room. How can we make space for everyone's unique expressions?
Rather than saying one way of being is wrong and the other is right, I am interested in embodying my full expression. There are days where it feels good to be loud and wild. Truly, I've had to expand my own definition of who I am, identity-wise. Women are cyclical and NOT linear, and this is a gift that I've embraced. But today I noticed powerfully that I hadn't fully loved my soft and quiet side until just now :)
What does this bring up for you?
We have the opportunity to open to pleasure way more than we allow ourselves to.
In any given moment, we can shift our awareness to the present moment and experience life as fully as possible through all of our senses.
We can eat food slowly, savoring every bite and feeling enormously grateful.
We can take the time to caress our own skin, hair, and body with love and tenderness.
We can put clothes on that feel amazing on our skin.
We can listen to beautiful music that uplifts and nourishes us.
We can go outside and breathe in the trees, sun, sky, and plants.
We can notice and appreciate moments of joy as they arise, and learn to deepen and expand that experience - to allow ourselves to be in that state for much longer than we normally would.
We can look deeply into our lover's eyes, seeing them at a soul level and loving them profoundly.
So given that humans are naturally wired towards pleasure and wanting to feel good, why don't we do this more often? Why do we continually cut ourselves off from this experience?
One reason is that our collective self worth is so tied to constant busyness. It simply doesn't allow us to slow down and savor every moment we are here.
I want to live life much, much more slowly. Don't you?
photo via @twothirdshoney
Today I wanted to clarify what I mean by FEMININE RISING.
The feminine is clearly rising up to take her rightful place alongside the masculine - within each of us individually, and collectively on a larger scale.
(I say "alongside" very intentionally - because I do not believe in punishing the masculine by overtaking, shaming or suppressing it. We need the healthy expression of both to be in balance. Men have a lot of work to do to release toxic masculinity and embody the healthy masculine. I fully support those doing this type of "men's work" - John Wineland, David Deida, Stefanos Sifandos and others - as it is very needed at this time. I can assure you, there are a whole bunch of men waking up and embracing this work, and it's a beautiful thing. At the same time, we as women have our own work to do, and that's what I am passionate about helping with.)
At the same time, many women are misinformed about the healthy expression of the feminine. What does femininity even mean, and why does it matter?
This is not about women vs. men or the physical bodies we reside in. This is about the expression of two different frequencies found all throughout nature, the yin + the yang, which ideally should be in balance. It's about polarity.
And while we are talking about polar opposites, true integration of both means we can flow along the spectrum, understanding and mastering the healthy expression of both and how they complement each other.
We all have both masculine and feminine energies within us, but the feminine has long been misunderstood + suppressed by both sexes. This can lead to energetic discord, especially for women who tend to have a more innate feminine frequency.
Women have been taught that embodying masculine characteristics is the way to get respect, power, and protection, at the expense of being able to relax and soften into our femininity. Constant striving, doing, and achieving have left us burnt out and unable to experience the bliss of deep receptivity and pleasure.
Many women have achieved great success and financial abundance through relying on masculine principles, but often struggle with burnout, disconnection from their bodies, and an inability to slow down + truly savor what they have accomplished.
There are also some women who appear very feminine on a superficial level, but deep down they are disconnected and/or confused about the true definition of the feminine and have this underlying sense that something is off.
The root of anxiety and depression in women can have many causes, but I believe that a lack of connection to our feminine essence, or shakti, can be an absolute cause in many cases.
Most women also lack the knowledge about polarity in romantic relationships, and may be in a partnership that lacks passion and magnetism, leading to deep levels of dissatisfaction.
I believe that we all have a need to experience deep love and sexual fulfillment, and when this is not being felt, we all have a yearning for something more.
Additionally, both the feminine and the masculine have healthy + toxic ways of expressing themselves. We are currently cleansing the toxicity within both frequencies that has been holding humanity back from true ascension. There is a beautiful divine union that occurs with the honoring and expression of both, the wholeness and true integration of yin + yang.
Through my own reclamation of the feminine, I was able to deeply transform myself and those around me, in addition to attracting the love of my life.
That isn't to say that I live in my feminine 100% of the time. I see and deeply honor both the feminine + masculine within myself, and thoroughly enjoy dancing between the two to experience the full spectrum of life.
Before getting to this place, I was disconnected from my feminine, totally burnt out, holding shame around my body + sexuality, and wasn't at all enjoying the slower, sensual pleasures of life.
Now, after studying the feminine mysteries for the past five years and really embodying the teachings, I have healed on a physical, emotional, mental + spiritual level. I'm living life at a completely different frequency, and everyone around me can see it.
I am now dedicated to helping women reconnect to their feminine, remove layers of internalized misogyny, heal burnout and imbalance, and experience what life can be like to live full spectrum.
My purpose is to help you:
Because I believe that we experience the most profound level of transformation through conscious partnership, which includes sacred sexuality, I have a specific focus on love, sex + relationships in my practice.
I currently offer individual sessions, women's circles, and specific programs for you. Reach out if this resonates.
Image via @theancientgemstone
Although astrology has evolved over my lifetime from what used to be a more fatalistic approach to one that is more fluid, I still see people drawn to astrology giving far too much of their power away. Just look at Mercury retrograde - people cannot handle it. And when the sun moves into a sign they don't like, it's a bad month all around. This perspective comes from the view that life is happening to them - that they are powerless. Something greater is pulling the puppet strings.
We cannot continue to give our power away to external forces. I believe that astrological events magnify certain energies that we can co-create with, which is incredibly beautiful. Every sign and planet is an archetype reflecting the possibilities of what can unfold for us - as above, so below. If certain signs or astrological happenings rub you the wrong way, it's an opportunity to engage in a deeper inquiry with yourself on why this is the case.
For example, Leo used to be one of my least favorite signs because I thought it was too proud, too boastful. After working with astrology on a deeper level (in addition to gaining maturity) I realized that was because I used to have major social anxiety and hated being in the spotlight. The thought of being loud and seen was not in my realm of possibilities. Now I love Leo for the inspiration + courage it provides. I love expanding my definition of who I am + who I can be in this world.
Along the same lines, beware of being locked into your sun sign, or even your whole chart for that matter. We can amplify whatever qualities we might be lacking in our charts through conscious cultivation. Never allow anything in this world to limit your endless possibility of expression.
Image via @nicolebentleyphoto
A new resource for everyone:
Lately, I've been helping a lot of individuals get clear on what they want, need, and deserve in romantic relationships, whether they are single or currently in one.
As many of you know, this was a process I also had to go through in order to attract my current partner and love of my life, so I feel VERY passionately about it.
I've developed a formula that works, and I've broken it down into clear, actionable steps for you. Today I created a PDF guide that completely outlines how you also can get clear on what you want, need, and deserve. This guide also provides valuable next steps, whether you are single and looking to manifest the perfect partner, or already have a relationship that you want to take to the next level.
Download it here.
Additionally, for those of you who work through this PDF and are looking for additional support, I'm offering a 90 minute group call this Sunday, August 16th from 3:30 - 5:00 PST over Zoom, so everyone is welcome worldwide. We'll discuss the topic in more detail and I'll answer any questions you may have.
The cost is $15, and if you'd like to join, simply email me to RSVP.
Sending all good things,
Image from my current teacher, @kimanami
"In this time of Spring, who are you at the core of your true nature and innocence? What are you creating now?" - Lara Catone
This year, the Spring Equinox is exact on Thursday, March 19th at 8:49 pm PST, as the Sun enters Aries. It's a time of equality between the light and the dark, marking the point at which the days will start to get longer and warmer as the sun prepares to take center stage.
For those of us who celebrate The Wheel of the Year, it is considered a High Holy Day that is best recognized in ceremony and ritual.
The Spring Equinox represents:
The simple fact that the amount of light we are exposed to has a direct and powerful impact on our energy levels + motivation is a beautiful reminder of how the seasons and other cycles found in nature can influence us so profoundly.
I'm hosting my first ever virtual Women's Circle to celebrate with those of you who wish to gather in an intentional space with like-minded women.
The circle will be held this Thursday 3/19 from 6:30 - 8 pm PST on Zoom, and if you'd like to join, just reply back and let me know.
In order to keep this a small, intimate gathering, we will have 10 women max.
It will be donation based, so offer what you wish. If you decide to join, I'll send you the Zoom link and Venmo for you to contribute what you like.
WOMEN'S CIRCLE: SPRING EQUINOX
Thursday, March 19, 2020
6:30 - 8 pm PST
Virtual through Zoom
WHAT TO EXPECT:
When you reply back to RSVP, I'll save a seat for you + will send you the Zoom link to join.
Love you all,
I am honored to share that I have been chosen to lead the first ever women's circle for WellSet at WMN Space in Culver City. WellSet is a platform for practitioners in the wellness industry to market their services and get connected to new clients. I was super flattered, and of course excited, since I absolutely love holding these spaces.
Compared to just three years ago when I first began running women's circles, it seems like they are everywhere now. I knew I had entered a different era when I walked into Madewell last year and saw them selling tarot cards!
I am thrilled with the wildfire-like spread of everything feminine over the past few years, and want it to continue to expand far and wide. I am SUPER committed to ushering in the new paradigm of feminine + masculine partnership in this next decade.
What I mean by that is this: for me, it is not about the rise of a matriarchy that will overthrow the patriarchy. Matriarchy and patriarchy are both hierarchies, and I believe and trust in the new Aquarian age of equality consciousness.
However, there is no doubt that the feminine has been desecrated for FAR too long, and the pendulum is swinging hard now in the other direction.
Feminine Rising, the name I chose for our community back in 2017, is all about a celebration of the rising of the feminine. In my eyes, the healthy feminine will continue to be cultivated, elevated, and expanded alongside the cultivation, elevation, and expansion of the healthy masculine, and together, this sacred union of yin + yang will take humanity to the next level.
This relates not just to our partnerships with each other, but also to our own inner union of the masculine and feminine.
To this end, we need to learn how to let go of the wounded expressions of the feminine and masculine that we have been programmed to carry in order to improve our relationships with each other and become healthier, more whole versions of ourselves.
One of the ways I am committing to pushing this vision forward is to elevate our relationships with each other as women. If you've been to one of my circles before, you know that I am all about cultivating a safe, welcoming space for ALL, and purposely working against the comparison mindset that we sometimes have when we gather. We truly need to continue to cultivate a collaboration (vs. competition) mindset that is focused on depth, not superficiality (what is she wearing? am I as pretty as her? does she have more Instagram followers than me?)
Instead, let's focus on supporting each others' work in the world, both personally and professionally, while continuing to push and challenge each other to become better humans.
When we can soften into who we are authentically and be at peace with that, without worrying about what other people think of us, and be held in sisterhood exactly in that place, it is SUCH A RELIEF.
On that note, come celebrate the New Moon in Aries in this kind of an environment on Tuesday, March 24 from 6:30 - 8:30 pm in Culver City.
WOMEN'S CIRCLE: NEW MOON IN ARIES
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
6:30 - 8:30 pm
Culver City, CA
Yay Aries, first sign of the zodiac, ushering in the fresh energy of spring! Our Aries-related theme this month is Courage. We will align with this vibration to take action on a certain goal or area in our lives that we may feel held back from due to fear or anxiety. Be supported by like-minded women who are committed to lifting each other up. You can sign up and find all of the circle information here.
I keep these circles small (8 women max) to create an intimate space to feel seen and heard safely.
I'LL HAVE: light snacks, tea, folded blankets to sit on.
BRING: extra blanket or cushion to sit on (optional), water, journal, pen.
WHAT TO EXPECT: We get familiar with each other through introductions, I'll speak about the theme and facilitate discussion, we'll move into a guided meditation, and end with an intention setting ritual.
Upcoming New Moon Circle Dates:
4/23 - New Moon in Taurus
5/22 - New Moon in Gemini
6/20 - New Moon in Cancer + Summer Solstice
7/19 - New Moon in Cancer
8/18 - New Moon in Leo
Head over to this page if you want to reserve your spot for these future circles.
I'll wrap with a quote from Osho on courage:
Life begins where fear ends.
Love you all,
The man of my dreams is here and it's beyond anything that I have ever felt.
I can't really tell you this story properly without giving you some background info. I'm a 41 year old single mom to a 10 year old boy. We live in Los Angeles, where I've been for the past 13 years.
My divorce in 2017 was the single most difficult thing I have ever experienced emotionally. The two year period of time that led up to it (2014-16) was the darkest time of my life. We had been together for nearly 20 years. With a child together and a house we bought together, the ending of our marriage ripped the foundation of everything I thought was real right under my feet. I felt like I had hit rock bottom. Many days I did not know if I would be able to go on. The pain was excruciating, and it was the most devastating heartbreak I had ever felt.
But today I literally thank God every day for this experience. It required immense amounts of emotional resilience, courage, and perseverance, but turned out to be my single greatest blessing. Through the help of therapy and deeply reconnecting to my spiritual path, I was able to clearly see how broken our relationship had been, how low my self-worth was (I was settling for way less than I deserved, and was totally idolizing him), how disconnected I was from my intuition, and how utterly disempowering living in victim mode is.
At some point - I'm not sure exactly when - I became determined to become an expert in relationship dynamics and how to make sure this NEVER happened again.
I dove head first into learning about healthy relationships, healing my self-worth, and reconnecting deeply to my femininity. (My intuition guided me on that last part; I knew this side of me HAD to be healed, but didn't have a clue that it would lead me to where I am today.)
At the same time, I reconnected to my spirituality, which I had suppressed for years during my marriage due to it not being okay with him. Although any spiritual practice would have been unacceptable with his atheist upbringing, the fact that my type of spirituality is witchy and weird made it even more important to disown.
Thankfully, seeing clearly that I needed to claim my authenticity and become 100% myself without shame allowed me to delve back in to my witchy world of tarot, astrology, paganism, psychics, and all the other things.
It was the intersection of spirituality and femininity that has gotten me where I am today - deeply involved in women's work, the divine feminine, tantra, and sacred sexuality.
In the process of healing myself, along with the very necessary experience of dating for two years (which allowed me to refine exactly what I was looking for + test my self-worth), I became clear on certain skills and teachings that allowed me to attract healthy love.
What effortlessly flowed out of me was a program for women called Whole Heart, a 12 week curriculum to learn the inner and outer work of being in conscious relationship.
About six months after I created the program and had been taking women through it, my king arrived.
I firmly believe with 100% of my being that because of these principles, I was able to attract the man of my dreams.
About a month before we met, I had outlined all of the qualities that I desired in a partner in my journal. I had FOUR pages of requirements listed out.
When I went back and read it after just a week of us dating, he had met all of my criteria. I had already known that he was the one. It was absolutely mind blowing.
What I know now is that not only do you have to have a crystal clear idea of what you want and need in a partner, you have to BELIEVE that you are worthy of all of it.
Otherwise it will not work.
This is why quick fix manifestation strategies will fail unless you partner them with deeper work.
Writing a list to the universe of what you want is a very common strategy in law of attraction circles.
But you won't get what you ask for unless you are truly ready for it.
Now I'm in the deepest, most intimate, most connected relationship I have ever been in. Our connection is intensely physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual - and these are the four foundations that (for me) are non-negotiables in the kind of relationship that I want.
Our love is just getting started and we are ready to conquer the world.
My man gives me such deep, beautiful presence when we are together. He and I regularly experience incredibly blissful divine union by consciously playing with our polarities of masculine and feminine. He and I speak the same language, have the most amazing, mind blowing sex, love each other deeply, and are planning to travel the world together. I am literally the happiest and most fulfilled that I have ever been.
When I was writing that list in my journal, I didn't hold back. I put down every single quality that my heart desired, and I got it.
What I'm experiencing with him now is a depth that I have never known, and it's exactly what I had been yearning for. It's here now, I am grateful for him every single day, and I wish the same for you: 100%.
I absolutely LOVE talking about love, sex and relationships. It's literally an obsession of mine. If you are searching for healthy love, or if you're currently in a relationship but know something is lacking, I would love nothing more than to work with you. You deserve the best, and I'm not even kidding. Please read more about Whole Heart and reach out if you feel called. I currently have two openings as of January 2020 to work with women who wish to attract the man of their dreams.
Leigh-Anne Lui is a Los Angeles based psychologist specializing in next-level love, sex + relationships. In 2017, she founded Feminine Rising, a women's community dedicated to reclaiming the feminine. She has a deep desire to help women manifest extraordinary love. Find her on IG @feminine__rising.